MOTIVATION and the way to make IT (Good Boss/Bad Boss)
MOTIVATION and the way to make IT (Good Boss/Bad Boss)
১৩ আগস্ট ২০২০ ১২:৩৩ অপরাহ্ণ
Many of my clients have are available complaining of a scarcity of motivation; from not being motivated enough on the work, to not having the ability to diet, quit smoking, or get out of bed within the morning. They desire to realize both positive and negative motivations-positive motivations and being motivations toward doing something; negative motivations being toward NOT doing something (not smoking, for example).
Almost invariably, the tactic they need to be tried before (unsuccessfully) has been to beat themselves into it. This happens through a negative inner dialog, such as: "You lazy person, you'll never get anywhere;" "you need to do that whether you wish it or not;" or "no one will ever love you until you are doing ." Sometimes, they need to be tried bribing or persuading themselves, which works for a short time but fails sooner or later. Sometimes, they need to get another person to push them around, like a motivational group, hypnosis, a parent or parent substitute, who will insist that they need to behave.
This third option works quite well for a few people for an extended time. However, the character of this persuasion is to overpower the client's natural action, and therefore the people that come to me come because they need to be rebelled against the authority of that person or group, and find that now they can not do what they might wish to due to their rebellion! the reality is, that if we believe somebody else is pushing us around, we aren't likely to reply cooperatively. Especially when the "pushy person" is oneself!!!
The fact is, regardless of how nasty and angry these people get with themselves, they can't get motivated. Together, my clients and that I have had tremendous, verifiable success with these problems, and each client who has worked with me has succeeded in getting motivated, both "negative motivation" and "positive motivation". the rationale for such success is that creating motivation is straightforward.
I maintain that motivation grows out of celebration and appreciation. i prefer to state it in equation form: celebration + appreciation = motivation
By this, I mean that if you'll find how to understand yourself for what you've already accomplished, and to celebrate your previous successes (and believe me, you'll find a way), you'll find you're "magically" motivated to accomplish more. No struggle, no hassle-you accomplish out of the pure fun of success! for instance, what I mean, I will be able to describe two possible employers. The "bad boss" and therefore the "good boss".
The Bad Boss
-Operates through intimidation and criticism...
-Always complains; never praises (you only know you're doing OK because the boss says nothing)
-Gets nasty if you create an error
-Humiliates you ahead of others
-Never thinks you've done enough
-Assumes you're lazy and dishonest
-Changes the principles arbitrarily
-Is never satisfied with pleased
(get the picture?)
The Good Boss
-Always allows you to know when you're doing well
-Asks you what you would like whenever you've made a mistake;
-Is very helpful
-Is concerned about your well-being also as your productivity
-Assumes you would like to try to an honest job
-Helps you are feeling like a part of the team
-Treats you as a valued person
-Is clear about the duties expected of you.
Both of those bosses have an equivalent goal: to urge the work done. However, there's an enormous difference in the success of their individual management styles. believe your probable reaction to the 2 sorts of management. The bad boss's office is characterized by tension and anger. People work only to stay the boss off their backs, and consequently goof-off whenever he/she isn't around. they're not efficient, because they're not motivated to accomplish anything, merely to avoid the boss's anger. they're operating during a psychological state we call "adaptation", which is concentrated on keeping someone (usually someone angry or nasty) off their backs.
They have little loyalty to anything but their paychecks, and maybe one another, as mistreated prisoners are loyal to every other when confronting the jailer. Offices which are characterized by inefficiency and disharmony. If this boss requires overtime, he/she encounters resistance.
If you were working for this boss, how would you feel? Would you attend work happily each day? Would you volunteer for extra work? Would you anticipate every new assignment? Probably not. In short, you'd not feel highly motivated, would you?
On the opposite hand, the workers of the great boss tend to worry about themselves and their jobs. They feel pleased with their accomplishments, and wanting to learn more and attain more. If the boss is gone, the work still goes on, because people are during a psychological state of motivation, and are being gratified by their sense of accomplishment. When this boss requests overtime, he/she is going to be met with a cooperative response.
Again, take a flash and movie yourself during this situation. How would you be feeling? Would you feel wanting to please this boss? Would you anticipate his/her reaction to your latest work? Would you be willing to assist out, if extra work were necessary? presumably, you would-you would feel enthusiastic and motivated, looking forward to figuring every day.
Notice the difference in your energy within the two situations. Which boss would you rather work for? Hopefully, it's as obvious to you because it is to me. I might prefer the great boss (just the names I even have chosen for the 2 styles have probably made that obvious.)
In the daily tasks and situations of our lives, we become our own bosses; whether we are conscious of it or not. we have a choice about which type of boss we wish to be to ourselves. If you opt as most of my clients (and myself) have, you'll prefer to become the great boss to yourself. this suggests you learn to treat yourself with kindness and understanding, be very generous with praise, and delicate with corrections. Then you'll accomplish your goals with a way of pride and achievement, and an excellent deal of delight. you'll feel motivated, and wonder why you never realized how easy it had been.
All of this will be accomplished through the 2 "magic motivators": celebration and appreciation. Most folks skills to understand others. However, when it involves ourselves, we feel embarrassed and uncomfortable if we are too generous with praise.
Years of being told to not brag or to be stuck up once we were young have taken their toll, and self-appreciation comes awkwardly. However, if motivation may be a desirable trait, then self-appreciation becomes necessary and desirable too. the great news is that you simply can learn it.
If you'd wish to learn self-appreciation and it's difficult for you, I like to recommend practicing in several ways. Many of my clients have found it fun to shop for small foil star stickers (just like in grade school) and award them to themselves for jobs well done, or any achievements they want to celebrate. Pasting the celebs on a calendar daily is often very effective. Go ahead, award yourself lots!
Other kinds of stickers are readily available. one among my clients rewarded herself for being successful in her eating program with small stickers representing jelly beans, chocolates, and frozen dessert cones! She got her dessert in praise rather than calories.
Also, it is often effective to recollect back to childhood parties and celebrations. one among my clients was told never to form noise because her grandmother was ill. However, she was allowed to play her accordion as loud as she wanted to when she practiced. to the present day, playing her accordion seems like a celebration and an opportunity for her to pontificate. Early birthday parties or holiday outings that were special also can be tapped for ideas. If Mom always cooked a turkey for an enormous occasion, or set the table with the simplest china, or a bottle of champagne was served, then those ingredients can indicate celebration and accomplishment.
Crepe paper streamers, banners, candles, balloons, flowers, special clothing (your fanciest shoes, a replacement hat) gatherings of friends, trophies, diplomas, and awards can all indicate achievements worth celebrating. Try using one or two of those items on occasions that you would like to get motivation.
If you're nervous on the primary day of the new job, celebrate completing the day with sparkling fruit juice or diet cola served in your best champagne flutes, and candles on the dining table. Put a couple of gold stars on your calendar for getting through a difficult homework assignment. Buy your female child a trophy engraved together with her name for cleaning up her room for an entire month.
There is no such thing as an excessive amount of praise or celebration. Is there an excessive amount of motivation? in fact not-the more the merrier. Fresh flowers on the table just to mention what proportion you appreciate yourself can do tons toward making you happier any day. a replacement trashy romance novel is often an excellent reward/celebration for reading your required technical books.
The important point is that celebration of what you've got accomplished already will create motivation to accomplish more.
Get creative together with your celebrations, have fun. Celebrate a cherished friendship with an impromptu lunchtime picnic and a balloon. Above all, have fun. that is the objective!
If you discover yourself around someone who takes command and tells you what you ought to be doing, or comments unasked about how you're doing things wrong, or otherwise appoints him/herself because the boss in your life, you'll find your newly-created motivation flagging. Remember to fireside them as your boss. it is your life, and you're doing whatever you're doing because you would like to. you would like to offer no better reason for anyone but yourself.
Once you've got fired this self-appointed boss, then you'll get to remind yourself of what proportion you've got accomplished without that sort of help. Celebrate your independence, your spirit, your willingness to be liable for yourself.
It is also possible to line up informative books, articles, television authorities, gurus, etc. up as your boss-in which case, you'll again find your motivation flagging. These informational aids are often useful, but as long as you keep them in perspective.
Remember, the boss gets information about the way to run things, gets educated, goes for help when necessary, BUT the boss remains responsible. the knowledge is there for your use, but no expert, (no, not even a therapist) can know if the knowledge is true for you.
If you remember who the boss is, then you'll use the knowledge wisely and judiciously, rejecting whatever there's that doesn't fit your style or personality. you'll use it to support and further your goals, and to assist within the celebration of your accomplishments.
Whenever you discover your motivation flagging, shop around for a way you're doing at being your boss. Are you employing a motivational, supportive style? have you ever let somebody else take over your authority? Is there some appreciation you need?
Take a couple of minutes with yourself a day only for appreciation. It's easy, fun, and really effective. Imagine living a day energized and motivated!!